The Princess Bride
by FantasticallyTragical
Summary: A timeless "tail" that pits good against evil, love against hate. A story filled with pirates, princes, daring swordfights, revenge, strange beasts, and true love. Mostly Nalu, with hints of Jerza, good helping of Gruvia and Gajevy in later chapters


**You've all read the** _ **Princess Bride**_ **or at least seen the movie, right? Here's a retelling. Fairy Tail style.**

 **A timeless "tail" that pits good against evil, love against hate. A story filled with pirates, princes, daring swordfights, revenge, strange beasts, and true love, with timeless characters such as…**

 **Natsu Dragneel – a hyperactive pyromaniac willing to face even death for his true love**

 **Erza – a red-haired swordswoman who lives only to revenge her murdered husband**

 **Elfman – a giant who's more than he's cracked up to be**

 **Levy – the king's ex-miracle worker who can raise the dead (kind of)**

 **The Dread Pirate Gray – a legend who much nicer than the stories say**

 **Juvia – the Dread Pirate's first mate**

 **Ichiya – the evil Sicilian who is thwarted by his own perfect logic in the end**

 **Jackal – the even eviler crown prince bent on war and marrying the most beautiful woman in the world**

 **Count Jose Porla – the evilest man of all, who thrives on the pain of others…**

 **And, of course…**

 **Lucy Heartfilia – the princess bride, who really doesn't need much saving, and uncovers a plot that could send the world in to war**

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **The Bride**

The year that Lucy was born, the most beautiful woman in the world was one Cana Alberona, a scullery maid from France, who worked for the Duke and Duchess de Guiche, and it did not escape the Duke's notice that someone extraordinary was polishing the pewter. The Duke's notice did not escape the Duchess's notice, who was not very beautiful or rich, but plenty smart. The Duchess set about to find her adversary's weakness.

Booze.

Thus armed, the Duchess got down to work. Palace de Guiche turned in to a veritable alcohol castle, with all types of drinks stored about everywhere. Cana didn't stand a chance. In less than a fortnight, she went from pale, demure, and calm, to flushed and crazy, and the Duke never glanced her way, except to wonder at what happened.

It didn't matter, though, Cana married a wine maker, and the two lived together in a drunk, but loving haze.

* * *

The year Lucy was fifteen, the most beautiful woman in the world was one Mirajane Strauss, of Dreyar Province. Mirajane was not only lovely, but also kind, and spent her days caring for the poor and orphans. Unfortunately, she caught a horrible disease. Mira survived, but her looks did not. She eventually married Laxus Dreyar, grandson of the ruler of Dreyar Province and lived happily ever after with nine children.

* * *

Of course, at fifteen, Lucy neither knew, nor cared about such things. She was quite content with riding her horse, Plue, around the extensive Heartfilia estate, or go adventuring with the stable boy, Natsu.

Natsu was Lucy's best friend. Sure, he was rather wild, and often a bit thick, but he was friendly, funny, and had a heart of gold. Natsu was probably the only person that treated Lucy as her own person, and not her father's daughter, an heiress with millions of jewels to her name. Natsu didn't give a fig about that. To him, Lucy was just that, Lucy! His strange, but awesome best friend.

* * *

They didn't fall in love at first sight, it was more of a gradual thing. Lucy was the first to notice it. After weeks of screaming into her pillow at night, awkward blushes, and sweaty hands, she finally brought it up.

"Hey, Natsu?"

He glanced at her, dark green eyes questioning. "Yeah?"

"I think I like you."

He grinned. "Of course you like me!" Lucy's eyebrow shot up. "We're best friends!" Oh.

She slammed her head against the trunk of a nearby tree. "That's not what I _meant_ , Natsu!" She pinched the bridge of her nose. Why did she love him again? "I think I'm in love with you!" She finally blurted out, face flaming.

Now Natsu's eyebrow's shot up. He looked stunned for a moment. Then his face softened, and he grinned. He took two steps forward, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her.

"Love ya, too." He told her.

* * *

They lived in a sort of haze for several weeks, Lucy's father didn't care much. As long as his daughter was happy, so was he. It was all fine and dandy, until Natsu left.

He was hanging halfway through her window when the subject was brought up, he had climbed up the roof to visit her.

"Lucy."

"Hmm?"

"I've decided."

Lucy spun around in her desk chair. "Decided what?"

Natsu crawled the rest of the way in to the room and sat on the end of her bed, legs crossed. "Two things." He held up the aforementioned number of fingers. "One, tomorrow I'm going on a quest to find my dad. It may take several years, so you can't come." Lucy looked a little miffed. "The second thing is, when I come back, I'm going to marry you."

Lucy was so shocked, she fell off her chair. Then she became annoyed. "YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDE THINGS LIKE THAT!"

"Why are you getting mad?!"

"ASK ME BEFORE YOU MAKE DECISIONS TO MARRY ME!"

Natsu grinned. "I didn't need to. I knew you'd say yes."

Lucy face palmed, then stepped towards him and kissed him.

There have been five great kisses since the beginning of time. This one left them all behind.

* * *

Lucy was so in love with Natsu. He was not just her best friend, but also the love of her life. Maybe that's why his death hit her so hard. There hadn't been a letter from him for several weeks. Lucy wasn't overly concerned.

Then, her father sat her down at the table and told her the horrible news. Natsu wasn't coming back. His ship had been attacked right off the east coast by the infamous Dread Pirate Grey. The Dread Pirate Gray left no survivors. Ever.

After two weeks of inconsolable grieving, Lucy was the most beautiful woman in the world, and had sworn to never love again.

* * *

 **A/N: Aaaand… DONE! Review please!**


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